EPISODE 40 - Living Your Best Life with GRACE with Dr. Anhlan Nguyen
Show Notes
Have you ever wondered if you were living your best life? Or perhaps, you might be wondering, “what is your best life?” In this podcast episode, we are thrilled to be discussing this topic with Dr. Anhlan Nguyen. She is a professional speaker, author, and ICF certified professional life coach, specialized in Emotional Intelligence and Coaching for Transformation. She is an active community leader and youth program developer. Today, we dive into her childhood and career to understand how she thrives using the GRACE mindset model. GRACE stands for Gratitude, Respect, Accountability, Courage, and Engagement. Dr. Nguyen also incorporates unconventional morning routines to make sure she starts the day full of light. When you incorporate this practice, you’ll learn how to keep your cup full and still be able to serve others.
“If you can change your story, and you can change your life.” - Dr. Anhlan Nguyen
Website: Living Your Best Life with GRACE, Dr. Anhlan Nguyen
Book: Living in Grace - Live Your Best Life Now (available on Amazon)
FULL TRANSCRIPT
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(intro) Hi, I'm Yan. Hi, I'm Evonne. Welcome to Lost & Refound Podcast. We're a podcast, discussing our personal journeys as modern Asian women and sharing, inspiring stories from within our community. We hope you enjoy this episode - now let's get started.
Yan Wang: [00:00:28] Welcome to another episode of Lost & Refound podcast. I'm one of your hosts, Yan. We have your other host, Evonne. Hi, Evonne!
Evonne Lau: [00:00:35] Hi Yan!
Yan Wang: [00:00:36] How's your week?
Evonne Lau: [00:00:38] My week is going pretty okay. This week I feel that the weather has been brightening up here in California.
So my mood, definitely is affected by the weather. I, one of those. And I'm excited to learn more about how to not allow my external environments affect me so much. So I'm very excited for this topic today.
Yan Wang: [00:00:56] Yes. And then we're also really excited for summer. Because me too, I need that warm weather. Otherwise I just want to be in bed and never go outside. And so the weather is getting really nice and today's May 1st. So it's the first day of AAPI heritage month. So yay! Time to celebrate us.
Evonne Lau: [00:01:15] Agreed!
Yan Wang: [00:01:17] Yeah. And with that, today we have a very special guest for AAPI heritage month, and that is with Dr. Anhlan Nguyen. Dr. Nguyen is an ICF certified coach with ACC credentials, a professional speaker, and a lifelong community activist who is passionate about youth leadership development and youth empowerment. Dr. Ngyuen also leads three nonprofit organizations, Institute of civic education in Vietnam, Vietnamese culture, insights association, and Lyceum global. On top of that, she is also a number one bestselling author with goals or writing another three books within the next couple of years. So she is really a really busy woman. There is so much we can learn from Dr. Nguyen's amazing life from her immigration story to the lifetime. She has spending service of the next generation of leaders.
We are so honored to have her with us today and cannot wait to dig into our story a little bit more. So please help me give a warm welcome to Dr. Anhlan Nguyen. Hi, Dr. Nguyen!
Dr. Nguyen: [00:02:14] Hello, Yan. And hello Evonne. This is an honor to be here with you both.
Yan Wang: [00:02:19] We are so honored to have you given, you know, how much you have on your plate. I know your time is very precious, so we are very, very lucky to have you on, not just for our podcast, but on our podcast during a very special month to celebrate Asian heritage.
Dr. Nguyen: [00:02:35] Yeah. Wonderful it is May. May, and today is May 1st. Oh my goodness. Every year when it comes to may, I always feel so hopeful that all the trees that opening and I don't know whether you know that in Texas, we had a snow storm in February, really bad snow storm... in Texas! Right? So, uh, after that a lot of trees die, but now I just can't wait to see all the flowers and it just so beautiful. All white flowers, um Blue Bonnets, and it just really warms your heart and on top of all of that, AAPI month!
Yan Wang: [00:03:13] Yes. Yeah. Spring is start of new life, right? So it does feel like a new season, a brand new start and yeah, so I'm really excited to have you come on today to speak with us. But before we get into your story, can you do a quick little introduction into who you are for our audience?
Dr. Nguyen: [00:03:29] Yeah, so actually I was born in Vietnam. And I grew up in Ceylon which is in the South. And after 1975, you know, that Saigon fell and the South Vietnam fell to the North. It caused a whole exodus of Vietnamese refugees. And actually, uh, I was part of those refugees. I was on the boat. Actually just like a couple days before here, I wrote a story on my Facebook. And it brought back so much memory. But basically I went through a lot of different escape without success.
I was put in jail when I was like just a teenager. I was facing death. In one of the escape that was fail, I actually witnessed half of the people on my boat die. And I survived, but after that it told me to change my perspective of life and seeing how people would be willing to sacrifice, you know, to risk their lives just because of the price of freedom.
So when I arrive in America, I make a commitment to myself to truly appreciate the freedom that I'm given. Because only through service, helping and volunteering others that make me feel that I deserve the freedom given. And because of that, I, they can call me a crazy woman, but regardless of what type of job that I knew....
I was an IT consultant. I work in big corporations. I always want to make sure I dedicate at least 2000 hours per year for volunteer work. And before that, I just went on, I learned so much through the interaction with people. And I realized that when we receive, when we receive the blessing and receive what we are given. It is... it just feels so right to give back. And my expertise, always working with the youth. I was a scout master before. I worked with Girl Guides of Canada. I came to Canada first, before I came to United States. So it's like an immigrant and then another immigrant's story. But it's so wonderful, when I came here, I remember 1994. I arrived in United States because I met my husband. And he's the reason why I moved from a Toronto, Canada to a United States to Houston, Texas. So it's just like moving from a refrigerator to an oven. (Laughs)
And so in 2000 I became American citizen. At the time, I was an IT consultant as a, uh, an agency called Texas Department of Transportation. And I remember that day forever because you know what? The client, they threw a party. They threw a party to celebrate my becoming American citizen. And they, they create a poem that is so beautiful.
It's a reminder for me that I feel so welcome. And America is, regardless of how all the hatred we observed. It's not the America that it meant to be. The America I know and I grew up in and I become so passionate about is the America that accepted everyone. And regardless of the skin color or race, we are welcome in United States of America.
And you can pursue the dreams, the happiness that you have. Yeah. And so that brought back a good memory that I, I chose to remember. Because it was thrown by my client manager. And normally for contractor, they don't do that kind of thing. Right. So it probably because of the service I provided and they feel appreciated.
So they throw that party, but I was caught off guard. I cry! And fast forward, it was 2000, now is 2021 ! It has been 21 years. And words are not enough to express my appreciation for all the opportunities that I'm given. And even for volunteering or, you know, in my workplace, it just, uh, it's a beautiful journey. And I, I bet everyone has your own story as well.
Yan Wang: [00:07:51] Yeah. I think... number one, I don't think anybody will call you a crazy woman for volunteering. I think that speaks to what a big heart you have that no matter how busy you are, you always committed to volunteering that many hours, considering how much you have on your plate. And you still do that. You mean you run a nonprofit organization, so this is literally your life now. And number two, I think you're right. Companies don't usually throw parties for contractors. So that speaks to the work that you do for the companies that even though you're a contractor, they felt strong enough to go ahead and throw you a party.
And third is. I agree with you. This is not the country I remember that I grew up in. I'm an immigrant myself and I have never felt, I mean, I have definitely been discriminated against, but not at the point, at the rate we're seeing now. I have never feared for my life. Right. I have felt uncomfortable in situations, but I'd never fear for my life.
I never feared the life of my children, when they go outside or my, even my husband, when he goes outside, you know, this is a entirely different feeling. So, um, so again, this is why we have you on, because you know, I think for all of us, we can agree. The country is not the same as, as it was before, but all three of the us also agree that I don't believe this is what America is.
America to me is the melting pot. America is to me, is... open to all kinds of cultures, all countries, religions. No matter who you are, there's opportunity for you. If you work hard and if you work with others, right? I still believe that we can get there. And I feel like majority of people are believed that. It's...unfortunately, the most evil or the more, most sinister, or the most cowardice people who are the loudest online, who are driving this divide. Right? So we just have to remember, we have more in common than what we don't have in common.
Dr. Nguyen: [00:09:49] We are all interconnected. So, so we are told that we are divided, but actually as a human being, we have that tremendous connectedness that it's happened within here, within our heart. And I think that's why I wrote the book , Living In GRACE, because I want to remind people. That we are in it together. Regardless of skin color, race, whatever. And, I strongly believe that deep down, each of us has that heart, which is the, we want to do good and we want to love and be loved. We don't want to hate. So how can you honor love and honor the compassion inside each of us and try to awaken those emotions so that you can trump the hatred? Because the hatred is always there, but it just like the ying and the yang, right? Like which side of the coin you want to focus on. But again, by doing this podcast with you guys, I think you are doing a great job to really bring up that great side.
Yan Wang: [00:10:57] Thank you. And I know this “living in GRACE” is a practice you've been living with for many years, and carried you through a lot of hard times. Before we get into the concept of “living in GRACE” and what that means. Um, I would love to first talk about your childhood or immigration story, because, I mean, just from the little bits that you just said, it's a very traumatizing experience. And I think this is very important to get out. Because so many times on Facebook I have had, I'm not, I am going to call these discussions or not arguments. Discussions! I work for Walmart right now, global e-commerce. Um, I used to work for them five years ago, then I took a five-year break and I just went back. So before, um, when I took the five-year break, I was still friends with some of my former coworkers who are in Arkansas, right? So, very different than growing up in the West coast or the East coast, not as diverse.
And you know, when Trump was elected, when all of this hatred started against immigrants. I will see a lot of them posting things about... "oh, like, why are they coming here? It's too easy to come to the United States. You know, like, why don't these people just get out and go back? why would they come here?"
And I have had many discussions with them about, have you thought about putting yourself in someone else's shoes? Where if you feel like your children, because they're all moms too, you know, and I said, you know, I know you love your children. Just like I love my children.
If you think about your children, might be in jeopardy. Their life might be in jeopardy. Their health might be in jeopardy. There's so too much violence in the street. What would you do to get them out? If you can't get them out legally, what would you do to get them out illegally? What would you do? Like how would you feel as a refugee to save your own children?
But it's a really hard concept for, I feel like for Americans to, to grasp when you haven't had that kind of suffering or that kind of trauma. I haven't stuff like that in my own experience. I just actually learned even more in detail, my mother's own immigration story and her childhood story. But I think, you know, where we talk about generational trauma is.
We can feel some of that. We, there's something innate within us that can sort of somewhat understand that is a bit more than I feel like the Americans who have never experienced something like this. So this is why I feel this is very important to speak to people who have had, you know, not the easiest immigration story and to let people hear what that experience really like. And why would you leave a country where, I mean, sure you love Vietnam. You know, that's where you grew up. That's your language, your culture. It's so difficult to leave that behind. To go to a brand new place where you don't know anyone, you don't speak a language. So speak to us, tell us why your story. And why did you finally make that decision to leave Vietnam? And you know, that traumatizing journey that has ultimately made you who you are today.
Dr. Nguyen: [00:13:37] Okay. So basically the decision was because of course, like I was a teenager back then, right? So, so the decision has a lot to do with the way I came from, which is my family was belonged to the South. And my father was a high ranking officer. And after 1975, all of the rank high ranking officer, they supposed to go to something called remediation camp. But basically it is a jail. And my dad was kept in that. And then my mom at the time was the teacher and she has to manage how, you know, to raise the five kids under her wing. And it's tough.
Life was really tough. And beside of that, uh, I, I love studying and I excel in my academics study. But because of my background and especially after my dad got out of jail. Uh, he just so determined to escape. Like he said, no future, we've got to escape, even if he had to do it first, because we can not afford the whole family. He will need to do that. So basically the first time, he took the whole family and of course we got caught. And, and that changed totally the landscape of how we were treated because the government would treat it like, um... at the time I was in high school and was ready to get into university and I was not allowed to enter university just because my family tried to escape before.
So I was weighing like, they have a ranking, if you rank number the 15 out of 15, there's no way that you can. There's an entrance is nomination for every student to get into university. And I got like nearly the maximum score. Wow. That's cool. And yet the guy who got 28.5, he got some, uh, some scholarship go to Russia .And I got 28 and I was not accepted.
And I was devastated because at that time, all I want to do is studying. I want to further my education. I know that I could do something around that. But so that is my main theme. And my mom and my dad tried the best to try to give me a couple of opportunities to escape. And that's why I got into all of these stories about boat people. But at the end, it all fell. But my dad finally, after nine time escaping
Yan Wang: [00:16:07] Oh wow, nine times!
Dr. Nguyen: [00:16:08] Nine times! So we use up all the money on him. He escaped, um, he finally escape successfully and he arrived in Canada because he spoke French. Right. He, he speak French very fluently. We arrived there and he was a civil engineer before. He managed to get back his license and then he became a drafting engineer and then he sponsor all of us. So we ended up going by air. But I had so many boat stories. because I was on the boat and that was an incident that my boat half the people die. It's so traumatic.
And I was put in jail a couple of times because of, I got caught. So I got all of that story and I even got a story like at 16, after one of these, uh, escape. I actually tried to kill myself. I tried to commit suicide because I was so frustrated. But this it's a long story, but, but the key thing that helped me to stay, not to commit to that final act, which is hanging myself... the love with my parents.
I love my parents more than my life. And I was thinking, you know, that's the only one thought about, okay, I was so, in so much pain and that's why I want to kill myself. I'm like I want to end that. But then I thought to myself, "okay, if I die, you know, I, I can get rid of the pain, but how about my mom and my dad?"
They, they, are not the one who causes problems. And then just, just imagine how devastated they were. And because of that question, I was able to change my mind and not committed to the final act that would take my life away. So, so I realize we are all can in some time in our life can be so vulnerable and, and, and I just can relate to all the youth.
Nowadays, I look at the statistic. I was just so sad. Look at the, the teen suicidal rate and it went the wrong direction. In 2007 and 2017, it increased more than double. And just imagine after COVID-19, I bet you, it is even worse. So, so all the children, including like regardless Asian Americans or Caucasian, or Latino or black. All of our future generations, our young kids, our children that right now in the crisis.
Yeah. And I am committed myself to focus on that because I believe in building and developing the future generations so that they can bring up the positive things and build up the nation. You know So I had all my life, I worked with the youth. I founded a youth leadership program in, uh, 1998. And it's still running until nowadays. And it kept train more than 5,000 Asian American and Asian Canadian leaders. To meet, connect it to yourself, appreciate where you came from. Because if we're not appreciating our roots, we will not be able to gain the self confidence that is needed in this world.
We have to know where we came from, be proud of that, and also know who we are. Who we are and what we here for, and all of that will combine to give to the self confidence to be successful in any endeavors.
Yan Wang: [00:19:33] Yes, and was that, is there a defining moment for you where you realized, yes. I want to commit my life to help the future generation. Or when did you start wanting to work with children and helping them become new leaders?
Dr. Nguyen: [00:19:51] I think if it came from my blood. Even in Vietnam, I already involved, uh, a very young age. I remember back then in Vietnam, under the communist region, I was like 13 or 14 years old. And in my, uh, neighborhood, there was a group of kids that homeless or the kids that we call street kids because they have very undisciplined, and they cause problem. They are trouble mat, group makers, right. So they assigned me to gather these kids and create a program to engage them. And guess what? I enjoy it immensely. And seeing the chain from the kids, former really deep down each of the kids, what they want is love. Yeah.
Yan Wang: [00:20:36] They want attention.
Dr. Nguyen: [00:20:37] Yeah. They want, you love them and they want the care. They want somebody who truly care for them, for who we are.
I just use my heart and I connect with them and I became famous the lady who, who can turn around people. But it's not, it just like you, you just so something inside of me, always. And until this day, it's the passion of finding something good about the other person and bring it out.
Yan Wang: [00:21:05] How old are you?
Dr. Nguyen: [00:21:06] And back then it was like 14 or 13.
Yan Wang: [00:21:08] So you were a kid yourself!
Dr. Nguyen: [00:21:11] You know, it started very young. And when I arrive in Canada and United States, it continues. So I became a scout leader. So I actually ran, in Canada. They call Good Girl Guides of Canada, so in Canada , it's not Girl Scouts. So I let a brownie pack of about 50 girls, uh, age from nine to 11 years old. I had the time of my life. Just so... I had so much fun playing with them, but at the same time, um, teaching them the values, the characters of how to become a strong woman, uh, love herself, respect herself, but also respect others. Right? And, and then, uh, when I graduate from college, I founded a youth center.
Like I'm the type of person that if you see a problem in the society, and there is no solution, why not create the solution? That you can, you can be part of the solution. So I create that. I noticed there's a needs for all these adolescent, all of the youth, they need a place to interact. So instead of going to gang.
Going to this with all the recreational activities and stuff. So I ,created one, when I was working at IBM Canada at the time. So during the day I do my full-time job because I have to get paid of course. Right. But then at night and my weekends are all full with my scout activities and that youth center.
Yan Wang: [00:22:35] It is in your blood because at 13 or 14, I could not help myself. I definitely could not help anybody else. So it is definitely in your blood. And it is absolutely amazing to hear, everything you have done. Even when you're working a full-time job, you are still helping children and setting up your own foundation. When you started working at IBM, talk to me about what that experience was like as an immigrant woman.
Dr. Nguyen: [00:23:02] So IBM Canada, Canada has a little bit different work style than US. Is less competitive, right? And I was very lucky because I graduate top of my college. So I got a lot of scholarship and all my life as student, I tried to find all scholarships available because I don't have enough money.
So when I, when I graduate and I have a job, I always give back because for those bursary, for those scholarships that gave me now I give back some scholarship for the students at my college. So when I came to , walking in corporation, basically the first couple of years are just very... I didn't remember anything significant, but when I came to America, that's a difference. In America, my boss, I'm very lucky because my boss who started a consulting firm division in Houston. So it was a consulting firm based in New Jersey, but they just opened a new division in Houston. And I was happened to be the 6th employee. So we spent two hours talking and he just really liked my personality. And he actually had to end up to the INS and the naturalization office to say, "look, I offer this lady a job. Why don't you speed up to give her the working permit?" Because when I married my husband, I have the green card. But because of the condition require to have a working permit before I can be hired, right? So he actually lining up to the INS office so that he can get the approval from INS so that I can start working. So I was lucky right upfront. And he became my mentor for my whole life. I went through all different job, but I always keep contact with him. But what I found when most of the time when I help with the working with the clients, um, a lot of people, especially in big corporations, it's not spelled out.
So everybody said diversity , inclusiveness, but actually you can feel right. You can feel the energy in the room. And when I started working in the big corporation, after that consultant firm, I noticed, like, for example, I support all the C suite level and IT supposed to guys more than women, right? I was in a role that I have to support most of the chief financial officer, chief facility officer, chief compliancy... So all of these C-suite level. And the first couple of meetings, um, you know, even I'm the support person, but there are some gentlemen, they very nice, but whenever he want me to do something, he would go to my boss and he would never talk directly to me.
So it just like that sense of hierarchy and he would say, "okay, I want Anhlan to do this", I was right there and he would not talk, he just go to my boss and ask my boss to convey the message. Just like I can not hear, you know. But the, the key thing is that I focus on adding values. Instead of being upset about this, and angry about this, I just said, okay, what does he need? And I focus on his needs, I religiously focused on his needs and provide the excellent service up to the point that, you know, I remember six months or a year or two years later. It take that long. In a same meeting with all the executives, he calls, "Anhlan, what do you think about this?" Hallelujah, that was a totally game changer. You know, like if you look at the beginning and that's at the end. That's again, spoke a lot about our ability to change, to transform other people. We have to believe in ourselves first, but initially I do not have that confidence.
Because I was always like grew up in a Vietnamese tradition, I guess other Chinese is the same. Like, boys is more important than girl. Okay, if you are a girl, you already kind of inferior. And then on top of that, like even, when I graduated from college, I got some scholarship from Berkeley. Because I was in Canada, right? And my mom just said, Okay. You can you study here. Why do you have to leave your family, just study here and you can get your master here ? And until you get the husband, then you can leave. You know? So that's kind of mentality. It gave us our own limiting belief. Like we don't believe in ourselves, that capability. You keep hearing the story that we are less than, we are not enough. We are not important enough. After we hear so many times, we believe in those stories. And those stories doesn't help us, right?
Those stories just limiting us and making us feel that we are never enough. And it's totally BS, to be honest with you, right? But that story is stick with me when I chose my career. So when I actually chose my career, I would have majored in sociology. And, uh, and psychology because that is where I'm thriving.
That's what my main career is right now. Like I follow my, my cause, but it took me 25 years. I lost all of the years in the other industry. Just because I don't believe that I could do that. Because I was told, okay, I was an immigrant and my English is not good enough. And then, these are all of the career that need to be proficient in English.
And I'm a girl, I'm a woman, I'm Asian, you know, all of that. We put the limiting belief on ourself. And because we keep, uh, we keep hearing sometime we believe it. And then when we believe it, that's why we never tried it again. We just, we just follow the norm. And that's, we lost our potential to become a much better version of ourself. And going through that, I want to help other girls. Asian girls, in particular, believe in themselves. And truly you have so much potential inside yourself and if you not unlocked it, then you can leave a life. But it's not the life that you are meant to live, right? And Abby one everyone is unique. And so with that passion now I discovered myself. Because I was lucky because throughout my life, I got that mentor, the boss who is also my mentor.
So I invited him to a lot of different functions of my community group. I just said, Oh, Anhlan, you are a leader. If he asked me, "okay, what did you want to become?" Oh, I just want to become a technical consultant. You know, I will do this, you know, I will solve problems, that's it.
And he said, "why don't you lead a team?" I said, "leading a team?". So that is the limiting belief inside of me. And he said, "Anhlan, you have what it takes to become a good leader. I already saw you in action. So I work with you." So he actually forced me into a management position. And it turned out to be, I enjoy it. But again, he gave me the opportunity and he helped me to develop.
I always be grateful. So looking back, I see all the stuff that we going through, there's a reason. But I wish that other girls, other women, who are also Asian would not have the limiting belief like I did. Because it prevented me to achieve the best. I could have majored in sociology and psychology. I would have a little bit different route. Um, and I would probably enjoy the life that I am meant to live much earlier. Yeah, right? Yeah. So that makes sense? It's the thing that I think most of us are facing is like, "I'm not enough."
Yan Wang: [00:30:55] I think it makes sense. Definitely makes sense to Evonne and I. This is the entire podcast is built on this, the "I'm not enough."
Yeah. Yeah. And I think not just Asian, I think a lot of women felt this way, right? This "women as second class citizens" is a common theme amoung the world. And I think women in America really have it really good. Or have it the best. Even in America....More than a lot of other countries?
Definitely not what we should be, right? We don't have a woman president yet. Where certain other countries definitely. Okay. We have a vice president... We're we're on our way. But definitely more than a lot of Asian countries. You can definitely see that even now in China, when somebody has the first born, when it's a girl, it's a disappoint.
Yeah. Yeah. What I see now, is less so to the parents, more so to the grandparents, right? So things are changing. And I see more that parents, my generation who are parents, I see that when we talked about girls, it's no longer about "you can only be successful if you marry a rich husband", right? And it is now what, what are you passionate about? What do you want to be? You can be that. And, and so I think change is on the way every generation, it gets better. But we need leaders like you to speak out, to influence these young minds. We can teach our children all we want, but sometimes it only takes one voice to shut them down. And that can leave an impact on their entire lives and can really hold them back, right? So hearing, I think more your speeches, really talking to them and showing them how to be leaders and believe in themselves. That's, what's going to ultimately make the change. Because they, at the end of, they have to believe in themselves. No matter what their parents say, they had to believe in themselves.
Dr. Nguyen: [00:32:43] But you need some kind of tool to really connect to yourself, right? You need to find a ways of how to help a younger people or even people our age. Like everybody can become disconnected. And the way that I observed right now, the reason why we are so much in hatred. The key thing is that when we are in hatred, actually, it really damaged your own immune system. It's not good. It's not good for your own health, but people don't realize that. And the reason why we are so involved in the hatred is because we lost connection with ourselves. Because if you really connect to your own self and each of us have the best self inside, it's just like your soul. Yeah. But if you, you lost the connection with that. That is when you only see the divisiveness, and you only see the difference. You don't see the common thing.
Yan Wang: [00:33:37] Well, they say the most angry people are people that lash out, right? The people who are happy or truly happy, they're not going to go about to make other people miserable. It's the people who are unhappy themselves. They want to make you unhappy so that you can feel the way they feel. So they don't feel alone. Right. So it's 100% true. You have to be happy yourself, before you can go out and change other people. Otherwise, all you can do is bring more misery because everything is going to trigger you and make you lash out other people.
Dr. Nguyen: [00:34:06] Right. Right. And that leads to, um, the topic that I, I finished. So basically all my life, the before I got into my doctorate program, was IT. The left brain, right? It's all the labyrinth like mathematics and physics and all that. So I totally use my left brain, but my liveliness kind of underutilized, right? And I didn't know that, but when I start working at University of Texas MD Anderson cancer center, it was a beautiful institution. Uh, they had the program that support us to do higher education. It was a big incentive. So I actually, regardless how busy I was, I still make a commitment to myself to come back to school for my PhD program.
But at the time I focus on the right brain, emotional intelligence. So my thesis is like observing the relationship between the IT project manager's emotional intelligence and their project success. So it opened my eyes. Like I read at least a few like 50 books on emotional challenges and articles. And it just triggered me. The more I read, the more I process, it's like, Oh my gosh, this is so, so much interesting.
And I, you know, all of these. Yeah. I didn't know. So it, it sparked some interest in my heart. And , what I have been doing through my volunteer work already, my hard work, right? It's only had the heart, uh, part in that. But it just the awakening and realizing and connecting all the dots so that I can see very clearly what my path looked like.
And it took me a few years to really, like after I graduated from that the degree, it's just helped me to see, I need to make that decision to totally 100% moving to that direction. Because that I am aligned with my cause would my reason of being like each of us has a different cause, right?
A different spark, I would say, each of us are different. And the key thing is how can we identify that spark. Ignite that spark. And when do you leaving with that spark you, your life is totally transform. Like that's what I share in the book. Like I was in a lowest time in my life where I, I cope with a lot of losses. And my husband was in the hospital. I lost my mom and then six weeks later, I lost my dad and it's all happening within such a short time. And yet I never felt so alive. Why is that? Because I anchor on my best. And I found tremendous meaning from the events that led me to become the professional coach and now leading the organization to really bring the message of GRACE to the world.
Yeah.
Yan Wang: [00:37:14] So let's talk about GRACE. How did you find this concept? You know, where did you learn it and how do you apply it?
Dr. Nguyen: [00:37:21] So basically behind, the GRACE work is emotional intelligence and leadership. So I, my PhD program enabled me to have the knowledge. But the GRACE concept is initially initiated by a foundation in Hawaii.
So when I was working on the youth leadership program. I was, looking for partners, , for different, methods to help the young people to learn. And I found this , from this Hawaii foundation and they actually, they only have that acronym, which is gratitude. GRACE stands for gratitude, respect, accountability, courage and engagement. And those are very common sense values, right. But when you actually put them together, uh, it becomes very powerful. So they offer some kind of programs to allow us to use that framework. But create some training program to teach the leadership for the students. So we took that and I I was working with my husband to design the first couple of training. But it only took off when I start engaged with emotional intelligence. And seeing that, uh, using the GRACE as a model, because everybody can grasp it.
And the word, GRACE, is very simple, but elegant, but meaningful. Like in the book I say that each of us, has a GRACE lady and or a GRACE gentleman, right? And It's right here, it's in their heart. How can you activate that GRACE lady so that you can be your best? Because when you are at your best. You become a light and you become a light, you light up your loved one first, like your children, your family, then to become a light in the community you are in.
Right. And that is the beauty of GRACE. And so it took me during those turbulent year. As I mentioned to you, it took me 25 years. So I always want to work on nonprofit, but I have that limiting belief that "Ohh, I can not survive if I work in non-profit. Where is the money coming? You know, that kind of, again, lack mindset, right? We lacking of money. And so I chose the segue, which is I save enough so that I can took off a couple of years. Then I can survive. And it comes a time, at the time came as a 2017. It's just the divine intervention and all that that you read from the book.
Actually, I was writing the resignation letter, but I have not submitted. Then the company let go of the whole team. So I belong to that team, of the exact team, that they let go. So they gave us a package. So it's basically the, the Universe told me, push me, "Anhlan, go out, do it yourself! And I'll give you a couple of more segments of, uh, of".... so it was, it was just like, the universe has something for you.
And the more you live, you will see that everything happened in your life has the reason. And when to find out the meaning, even the, at the time, it was so sad or it was trauma, or it was whatever. But when you connect with your own best self and using that lens, looking back. You will find out there's something in that incident or in that trauma, that will help you to become the person you are today. Without that you, would not be that strong. And you have to celebrate the fact that you overcame that. You become the person who you are today. Right? Sometime we focus so much on the pain. So we forgot. And, and Living in GRACE, helping you to anchor on your best, on your heart so that you can see things.
And again, emotional intelligence, I learned that our brain processing is amazing. Every moment, every minute you receive 11 million bits, but your conscious mind can only process 40 to 50 bits. So 40, 50 bits out of 11 million bits. So you miss out a lot, right? So it really depends what you focus on. And living in GRACE, your emotional challenge, and you focus on the, the thing that brings you up. And that is the key up the success. The key, the, to make you become so powerful. Because you become a light. Because you focus on the lightness on the beautiful things on the human spiritual values in each person you're in contact with.
And that is the story I want to share with others in practicing in GRACE. So GRACE, overall to answer your question, is like a framework that very easy to do. So I wrote that book, Living in Grace, Living Your Best Life Now, and it became a best seller in October 2020. And you know what? I took four months to design and now I have a class called Living Your Best Life with GRACE, and you can check it out at livingyourbestlifewithgrace.com.
And, and it's beautiful right now, the first class was launched. It was sold out. And I'm serving 70 learners from five different countries. And it's just the beginning. It's just the beginning. The beginning. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. This world needs more GRACE.
Evonne Lau: [00:42:58] Yes. Yes. And thank you so much for sharing that. There were so many tidbits. Every time you said certain phrases, I wanted to raise my hand and say, that's exactly how I feel! That's, that's exactly, what's resonating with me right now in this very moment. And I wanted to emphasize what you're talking about the spark. Because that has been something I've been trying to refined, in the last couple of months, actually. And. What I found was that as I'm trying different things, I feel that I'm losing momentum. I'm working too hard on something that's not meant for me, or that's not, it doesn't feel quite right, but I want it to be right, but it's not. And so digging into that and going deep into, um, my fears and what, what, I don't want to share, what I don't like about myself.
Why don't I like this about myself and, you know, asking different friends, asking my significant other. And realizing that what I don't like about myself is, sometimes a piece of what people do like about me. I know. Right. I don't, I don't know if anyone else has that type of feeling, but, um, for example, um, I hate the fact that I'm so silly sometimes, and that I laugh a little bit too much, that I'm not very serious. And that's exactly what Malinka loves about me. That I can be a little silly and that I can bring out silliness in him. And when he, when he mentioned that I'm like thinking, Oh, okay, well then maybe there's something there. That's making it so special and reaching out to different people.
And so I really want to encourage everyone that's listening. Don't be afraid of those little, tiny moments of yourself that you are afraid to share. Because that might be your spark and you just might be not realizing or not digging into that. And, um, and that's what leads you to all these amazing challenges that you've overcome and all these obstacles. Because it's, it takes time. Yeah. And energy to keep that wheel going, right? Like you build it, you build the fire, but you gotta keep the fire lit. And that takes energy. And so I was wondering if you could also talk about some of the things that you do to keep you going. How to keep your momentum going? And how you keep your momentum up and maybe some challenges that you've also had?
Dr. Nguyen: [00:45:09] I meditate a lot and it is, um, it's a really blessing for me because it just happened that, uh, I practice there's something called a universal human body energy. So it's, it's a, a sort of meditation that you focus on the seven chakra, which are the seven centers of your energy in the body. And it is a blessing because actually I'm Buddhist. So I learned some meditation in the past. But, uh, because my husband has some health issue and we heard that in order to self-heal you need, uh, that that's a meditation. So I just want to encourage him to sign up. So I sign up with him and guess what? I benefit so much from that.
So far since 2011 until now, I have been practiced meditation every day for 30 minutes to 45 minutes. At the beginning of the day, regardless of how busy I am, I always have that space where I actually sit down and a lot of good thoughts of good things, it popped up, uh, during that time, it just amazing, like. And I guess for a person who's so busy like me, like, uh, when I was working, at MD Anderson cancer center, it's like 50 hours a week.
And then on top of that, I study for the PhD, which is, uh, for seven years. And then I was appointed by President Obama to serve on a national foundation. I had to go to Vietnam. I had to go to DC every quarter. So it's another busy thing. Right. And then I served on a few other nonprofits doing on fundraising event planning and that youth leadership camp that I do every year. So all of that is so busy. I only slept about like four, three, four hours a day. And I, I didn't do a good thing for myself, right? And I paid for that later on, I got sleep apnea and it took me a few years to fix that. And I realized we've got to pay attention to our own body. It is the only body that you've got.
And sometimes we focus so much on the work, on what you want to put it out in the world. So I can relate to Evonne, when you say, you know, like this, my intention, I want this, I want that. It's our intention all the time, but sometime we just need to sit down, relax...
And like, you enjoy your, being funny. And maybe that being funny, um, is a really nice break for you that you enjoy it. You didn't even know! So each of us has that kind of, uh, distinguished things that. And asking friends would be perfect because sometimes we don't know. We always judging ourselves, right? We always judging, I want a bit less. I want to be that, you know. But actually, um, living in GRACE is like, how can you remove that self judging? How can you remove that self inner dialogue so that you really just love yourself the way you are? And when you love yourself, the way you are, you can become like madly in love with yourself.
And that is when magic happened. Because imagine when you love yourself, like madly in love with yourself, what would you do? We'll bring that love for everybody else. Like just like when you have a cup that is full, then you can, you know, you can overflow your love to everybody else. But if you love everybody else, but your cup is empty! Guess what? Then your love will be demanding. That you always need something from the other person because your cup is not full! Yeah.
You see? When. Yeah. So when your cup is supposed to, you have to really feel your cup first. And for most Asian woman, we don't do it!
Yan Wang: [00:49:01] My cup is very empty right now.I was literally freaking out on the kids earlier today. And then I freaked out on Seibo today cause my cup is very empty, but yeah, but I mean the world is serious enough. We need, we all need little silliness. This is why I like you too! Because you bring out the silliness in me too! And we all need to laugh sometimes.
Dr. Nguyen: [00:49:23] Laughing brings so much energy into your body. Don't you know, like laughing. It brings serotonin, dopamine,. And, uh, what is that? The three, the three chemicals that really boost your immune system. So, you know what, every morning I have a ritual. That I sat in front of the class. I jumped up and down and I laughed at myself. I laugh out loud. Or a minute or two, you know, it feels so good. You know, it felt so good. And, and as a, as an emotional intelligence practitioner, my fellow practitioner does the same thing. She even laugh for 45 minutes. I cannot do that!
I can only laugh for about three minutes. You know, and of course I had to do it within, in the restroom because my husband looked at,"are you crazy?. Why are you doing?" But Hey, you'll feel so good about yourself. You laugh and you feel good. Why not? It's free, right? And, and, and so I, I put it into original. So that's what, and I jumped up and down because I learned from kinesiology, that when you jumping, all the cells in your, like, against the gravity is a very good for each of the cells in your body. My knees doesn't allow me to do a lot, so I just jump about a hundred the time. Okay.
Um, but again, like if you jumped quickly is it's not that the lot, like, it really depends, but jumping is easy. Like if you jump with the rope... up to you, right. But jumping or you do jumping on the champion so that it relieves, or the problem with the knees. But jumping and laughing and give your high yourself a high five, then I just give a high five in the mirror. I'm starting the day with all that ritual. And it helped me to be so good. I feel so good about myself.
Evonne Lau: [00:51:19] You look great! I can see it. I can feel it.
Dr. Nguyen: [00:51:23] I'm reaching, I'm reaching 60 next year. Amazing.
Yan Wang: [00:51:29] I think you have more energy than, than both of us, but I'm going to try that tomorrow morning. I'm going to laugh in the mirror and jump around and see what Seibo...
Dr. Nguyen: [00:51:40] You can start with jumping just like 10 times, right? But when you jump, uh, you find a way to jump to, you know, not hurting your knees. So, so lots of different athletes, they did it with the trampoline. I actually had the trampoline in my house too. But I just jump. And I learned that from one of the workshop of the health coach. And I said, okay, I'm going to try, but when I try it, I feel so good. So you start the day with meditation. With that jumping and laughing. And I guess Evonne, would be so easy for laughing because you just naturally, right?
Evonne Lau: [00:52:15] Yan knows, that sometimes I'll just randomly laugh. Like, it's a very bizarre thing that sometimes I get in my head, it's like, I daydream a lot. I'm sharing a lot of vulnerability right now, but yes, I daydream a lot. I sometimes just randomly laugh and I'll sing and dance.
Dr. Nguyen: [00:52:33] Those are the gifts. Because that you, you know, I have to really, try hard to laugh. I'm not like easy to laugh. So, because I know the benefit of laughing, so that's why I have to intentionally. And sometimes I have to listen to, something's really funny to make me laugh because I cannot just laugh, right? But if you have that tendency and natural talent to laugh, anytime. Man that is a gift already.
Yan Wang: [00:53:00] I mean, I can see my mother-in-law when I first met her. She was very much that person. She, every time I saw her, she's smiling, laughing to herself. I'll drive by and she's hula hooping in the front yard. We'll be walking, and she starts dancing and singing while we're walking. Just always like, she didn't seem like there was a care in the world for her. And now she's, she's complete opposite. Now she's going through depression. So she doesn't laugh anymore. She doesn't, she barely even goes outside anymore. She barely even like really talks her grandchildren anymore, you know? And you can really see that night and day difference. You know, the other day I was talking to Seibo, and we're talking about his mom, I was just like saying your mom is so different. And he's like, yeah, it's a complete different person.
She, her husband, I mean, her husband, um, had cancer and he passed away. So all that triggered her depression. Um, but. But what my point is, you can really see the difference, right? In someone who was laughing all the time, who was singing, who has doesn't seem to really care about what what's going on. To now... now she's self-conscious about everything. You know, they just went back to Taiwan. My sister-in-law was saying that she wants to take her to the hot springs. She knows that my mother-in-law enjoys the hot springs there. But she's stopped eating as well, because she's going to depression. So she's gone really skinny. So now she doesn't want to go to hot springs, because she's very conscious how skinny she is and just like this downward spiral of everything, right? One thing affects the next thing. So absolutely like our number one things now is how do we make her laugh? How do we make her remember how she used to be? She almost was like a child before, just like how my kids are. Children, you look at them, they'll be sour one minute. Next minute, they are laughing. Like nothing's happened, you know? And how do we get back to that mentality of being children?
Dr. Nguyen: [00:54:47] Yeah. Yeah. That's, that is something that, uh, I felt, you know, like regardless of the age , you can always find back your spark. I would call it a spark, right? When you, you find your spark. Now with the case of, your mother-in-law, because it's involved a loss and when you cope with the loss.... nobody can Imagine the pain that you're going through, right? Yeah. So, so that's why, again, that's why I wrote the book, uh, Living in GRACE. Because my father is just like that. My mother passed away in March. And my father used to laugh all the time. He's just an upbeat and he's very healthy, 88 years old, but he's healthy. And he still driving around. But when my mom passed it just like he lost the love of life and he doesn't want to live. He didn't want to live anymore. And he already told us, "okay, six weeks later, I'm going to follow your mom". He even told us, you know, at my mom's funeral. And that it manifested itself. Right. So it really. I'll fight the pain. When you go through, if somehow we don't know how to cope with it, it can kill us.
Yeah. It can kill us.
Yan Wang: [00:56:05] Yes. I think that's why it's so important. When you talk to your students, um, where are some of the most common issues that you see among your students?
Dr. Nguyen: [00:56:14] I have two different set of students, the students in Vietnam, who live in a very tough condition, and they tend to see things in a very pessimistic way. And what they told me is that by practice gratitude and actually engagement. Believe that, being a human being is just a wonderful thing, a magnificent thing. And just the fact that you are able to see things, you are able to run around, you are able to eat and, and enjoy the food. All of us, you are able to breathe the air. All of those simple blessing are just gifts. And because practice in GRACE is focused on the gratitude, the attitude of gratitude. It changed , totally the mindset, helped them to change the way they look at the world. You see the lens that they using before.... if you don't do anything, you tend to look at only the bad things. Only the things that cause you pain. And because you only have 40 50 bits, if you already focused on that, you left out all the wonderful thing, right? Now you train your brain to look into the, the blessing in your life. And that is the gratitude. It brings so much joy into your heart. And that is the antidote for depression. If you focus, practice gratitude, and then respect. Respect, starts with self-respect, right? Respect yourself. How can you expect other people to respect you? But Self-respect also starts with self love.
You have to love yourself enough. To give you the opportunity to bounce back again. When failures happen. And failure will happen, everybody will incur failure in our life. But it's not the end of the world. So practice accountability. Take ownership of your own emotions by focusing on the blessings so that you feel good.
Like what I did regularly, like jumping and laughing. It's just one of the very little activity that I do daily. I practice gratitude journaling, right? And I have a rock, actually. I have it with me. You see, this is, um, yeah, it's a rock, right. The rock is called GRACE rock and I had it next to my bed. Every day I hold rock before I go to sleep. And I just remember what is the best, try to go through my day and pick the best thing that happened in my day and just say, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And you really feel the, the gratitude inside your heart when you hold a rock. That is, that is very simple to do, but after you do it for a while, this rock become your anchor. So whenever you have some problems or something, you hold the rock and you will, you remember all the moments that you say, thank you. And you receive the blessing, create magic. And, and that is what I teach the students. So most of the students, they lost the connection with themselves. So they tend to... so bogged down with something.
Each of them has a different obsession, right? Some, uh, went through the trauma, really bad trauma. They was not able to resolve, they was not able to see that trauma actually help them to become the person they are today. They live in the past. So if you focus, you don't have anything in the future to go, then you stick with your past, then your life's doomed!
So that's the issue, is either you focus on some trauma in the past or some pain that you have not yet rid of. Or, um, you focus so much on the uncertainties, you full of fear. And fear sometime if you use fears as, a way to activate or to help, to motivate you to do things, some fear is okay.
Right. But too much on the fear, you would not be able to do anything. It will penalize you. So know your fear is the key. And know why you fear it, right. And know how it could limit you from achieving the life that you want to live. And when you see all of that, you make a decision, okay, I'm going to take my life back.
I'm not, you know, I'm not living this way anymore. And again, you have that power. And then finally engagement would be living wholeheartedly. Like each of us has gifts and talents. How can you live everyday, fully wholeheartedly? So that it is that like the, your mother-in-law in the past, she just laugh! And that's because she has that gift, right?
She just, she's just enjoy it regardless. She doesn't care what everybody else was saying.That is living to the fullest the fullest. And when do you practice all of that? Um, it changes your life. And so I have a student, she came to me at the end of the class and she said, "thank you so much. You helped me to be alive again. I died when I was 25. This year, I became 29. And this is only after taking the class. I'm alive again." you know, so that, that is so powerful. And, and my intention is just, I just give out love. I just give out what I learned from myself, so that I can anchor all my best. And, and I let things happen. And right now the class that I'm having, people are little bit more mature, the people are a little bit older. And it just so beautiful. Because they have some trauma in the past and now they can see it in a different lens. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, it's very powerful, even though it's very simple.
Yan Wang: [01:02:02] Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's very simple, but it's, it takes a lot, right? You have to keep putting the practice. And this is actually exactly what I need to hear right now, because I think last year,Evonne and I, both have done a lot of this work.
I did a lot of work myself last year. When I started, my new job and became really busy and with the kids... I've noticed now, as soon as things get really busy, I don't have the time. The first thing I let go are, things are service to myself, right? So I was meditating every single day. I was working out every single day. I was doing all of these things. I was doing self care at nights. And once work got busy, it was meditation went. You know, working out went, self care in the evening went. Self care in the morning went....Like all of that, I'm not doing any of that anymore. You know, right now I'm just doing the bare minimal.
And when I say my cup is empty... I told Seibo yesterday, I think, or earlier this week I told him, I feel like there's something wrong with me because I feel like I have zero energy, zero motivation. I don't want to do anything. I can feel the start of depression coming up, right? It's hovering at that surface because, and I'm realizing now after talking to you is yeah, because I literally let everything that was in service to myself, go. And it's kind of funny, because Seibo's also a coach. And he's been telling me this. But of course I don't listen to my husband! It's like "wah, wah, wah, wah, wah". So I'm sure when I go tell him now, he's so good. Like I've been telling you this all week, right? Yeah. But it's true. You know, I need to put myself back into focus and I'm just not doing that. And as being a woman, being a mother. It is really hard to do. And I think every woman...
Dr. Nguyen: [01:03:40] It's easy to make our cup empty. Because we can always empty our cup, right?
Yan Wang: [01:03:45] This is what I'm used to, right? This is like a familiar experience. Like I know what this feels like. I only know this is not how I'm supposed to feel like, because of last year, right? Because last year I felt so good. Um, and another reason actually I told Seibo that I stopped meditating, meditating, is because last year, my entire life, I wasn't sure exactly who I wanted to be a who I am. After putting in time in last year, I, now I know exactly who I am. I know exactly what I want to do.with my future, what my passions are. But I'm not quite ready financially to take that leap yet, right? So I have to right now do the job I'm doing. Even though, it does not align with me. Like, it's not what I want to do, is not morally what I feel good about doing. You know, it just very, very opposite from what I want to be devoting my time.
So I told Seibo, one of the things we'll be meditating is when I started meditating, I started realizing just how much I do not want to do this job. And makes the, it makes my day job so much harder because I don't want to sit there for eight hours a day, to be on zoom meetings and talk about things I just don't care that much about anymore.
On top of that, I feel like might be harming things that I actually care about. Right? So, so this is where my conflict comes in, where I'm almost afraid to meditate. Because ignorance is bliss. When I didn't know, what my true passions are, what I really want in my life to be doing... Doing? I was perfectly fine working my ass off every single day. You know, not getting enough sleep because that was what life was supposed to be, right? In my entire life, I thought this is how you're supposed to live your life. But now that I know. That makes it so much harder for me to go back to that lifestyle. I know it's a blessing, right? I need to learn this because the way I was living, the way I am currently living right now... it's not how humans I think were meant to live. We're meant to be social. We meant to be out there being creative and learning new things and not be stuck in front of a computer every single day. Right? But, um, I'm afraid to go back to meditating. Because I'm afraid of, you know, putting myself in this situation again, where, where, no, I don't want to do this, but I had to force myself to do this.
So like what would your opinion be? Or how would you coach me in that way?
Dr. Nguyen: [01:05:55] So I would, I would ask yourself, uh, if you know what you want to do, right? And do you know that, uh, there are some basic needs that you still have to satisfy, which is financial needs. I totally get it. Yeah. So instead, I I'm surprised when I hear that when you practice meditation it causes you frustration. Because that is maybe something around that, uh, need to be unplugged or untightened. Because , you can see the life, your best life look like, right? This is my best life. It doesn't mean that I will have to live my best life right now. Yeah, in order to get that you need a roadmap and of course, utilize your husband's coaching service. (laughs)
Yan Wang: [01:06:42] He wishes. He always offers. I always say if he coaches me, we're going to start arguing... (laughs)
Dr. Nguyen: [01:06:47] But the thing is, you need a coach to really help you to anchor on, "okay. Here is my vision". And in order for me to arrive there, you give yourself a couple of years or whatever. And be absolutely clear what you envision yourself to do. You know, in that best life that you have. And when do you have your imagination run wild and true, and checking with yourself.... How do you feel when you imagine yourself doing that? Then you start working all the things around you. You need to focus on how to make it happen.
And by what kind of skill set we need or what kind of capability. Or even just look at the same thing, but you look in a different lens. The last that will help you to arrive there. Yeah. So when you think about your current job was just like some temporary thing, right? Like give yourself some kind of time bound goals. Like within two or three years. You will feel in love, fall in love with it. Because it is a tool. It's a stepping stone that enable you to achieve your dream. It's no longer, "Oh, I'm living two lives right now!" You see? The story you tell yourself is so important. And if you're telling this disempowering story, guess what? You got frustrated!
You have to change the story. Change your story, you change your life.
Yan Wang: [01:08:24] Yeah. I think my biggest problem is just... you say exactly, I was living two lives. Right? I was like, this is where I want to be, but I'm here. But I want to be right here right now! So I'm getting frustrated!
Dr. Nguyen: [01:08:38] Ah, so, timing is off. So maybe working on that. And again, discuss with your loved ones, because they might know something that you don't. We might miss something. Remember we only have 40, 50 bits. So chances are, we might miss something. You focus on "I want it right now, I don't have it. So I'm in pain." Right? But if you, if you change that in a different story than you, you might feel totally ok! Our minds are amazing, it isn't?
Yan Wang: [01:09:15] I know, it's sometimes the best and sometimes the worst thing, is our mind...
Evonne Lau: [01:09:24] But I also just want to say that the way that you've been phrasing, the help that you've been giving us, like me and Yan right now. I mean, we take a lot of coaches. We have a lot of classes. We pay a lot of money, just to get better. But I'm serious, in the last, like 10 minutes. Just everything that you said has resonated in a way that does hit a little bit differently. And I hope that everyone hears that can see that. I mean, I want to sign up, I'm going to sign up Living in GRACE in July.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:09:51] Okay. So I will send you the link is it's "living your best life with GRACE." It's that simple.
Yan Wang: [01:09:57] Once I'm done, I'll pass this over to you. And how long did it take you to write this book?
Dr. Nguyen: [01:10:02] Uh, it's another interesting story. I thought it would take me years. It took me three months.
Yan Wang: [01:10:09] Yea, she wrote a book in three months!
Dr. Nguyen: [01:10:13] What I did, the things that I did, it's crazy
Yan Wang: [01:10:17] Because she truly knows this stuff. Right. You have to truly know this stuff to be able to write in three months.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:10:22] I already had it in my heart.
Evonne Lau: [01:10:24] Exactly.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:10:25] And sometimes, you know, like I got up like 4:00 AM in the morning. I just couldn't at the time. And I cried all the time. It just crazy. But, but again, I think it's inside of me . Yeah, just like giving birth or something. It can not wait to be giving birth! And I just keep postpone, postpone until the pandemic. Of course, I'm stuck. The year before I travel, like 55,000 miles throughout a year, I had like 19 speaking engagement. Because I just became a professional speaker. This is amazing. You know, like before I was I was frightened when I show up on the stage. Although I'm a public speaker, like I had done a lot of speaking engagement, but the thought of being a professional speaker , it scare me...
And again, it's our own limiting beliefs, right? So I went through that and the universe respond to my need, like my vision. And, and before I know it, I got book left and right... And I fly over the United States and Canada deliver speeches. And I felt, "Oh my gosh, I'm living my life, right?"
And then, 2020, right? Yeah, everything changed, but then it just, I ask myself, okay, what can I do. Again, GRACE helped me tremendously. You need to practice GRACE. And, and my vision is, I'm seeing a community of a thousand GRACE coaches from around the world. That see how all the younger generation would be benefit. Right. I want to create some opportunities. So those kids that don't have access, they can have access to these coaches. And of course, it needs money and stuff. But again, um, that's so much in that. You can see if you can enlighten some of the lives of these kids, including your children. Right? But if we start with us, if we're not enlighting our life, then we cannot be the light for anybody else, right?
Evonne Lau: [01:12:19] Absolutely.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:12:20] So it's called self-empowerment.
Yan Wang: [01:12:22] Yep. And the next class is in July, you said, right?
Dr. Nguyen: [01:12:26] Yeah. Well, I will let you know, uh, you know, Seibo is in the class. But he never, he never logged in. I gave him because I want to give him a taste of what GRACE look like. Later on, I want to write a book that a GRACE for entrepreneurs, because entrepreneurs are a little bit different...
Yan Wang: [01:12:44] I know that he's, he's working on two new programs right now, too. So he's like super busy, but what else can we look forward to from you?
Dr. Nguyen: [01:12:54] Oh, you can go to the Living Your Best Life with GRACE and I have free webinars. I have also have a workshop that, uh, you have children, right? Again, so it's like teaching GRACE for your kids.
Yan Wang: [01:13:07] I need that.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:13:09] Yeah. I have three students who are Montessori principals. So they are actually working on designing a program for little kids, for kindergarteners.
Yan Wang: [01:13:19] Oh, that's great. That's great. My kids, my kids definitely need that.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:13:23] And then, and also, uh, planning to work with a couple of private school here in houston. To doing a program focused like elementary school and middle school. And then I have a program for university students. And yesterday, I just had a book talk with the faculty, the faculty needs it too! Texas Women University, you know, and these are all women. So it's just so interesting. And I had, and they said, we need to bring you to the campus and okay.
Yan Wang: [01:13:56] Nice. Are you working on more books too?
Dr. Nguyen: [01:13:59] Yeah, I have six more books. So, um, yeah, because GRACE for different people, right? I partner with another, EI coach, writing like GRACE for parenting is coming out. With a program as well. Right. And then, uh, I'm also do GRACE for woman. As you said, like woman always have another ceiling. Right. So, so we need to tune in for that and GRACE for teacher. , I need to help the teachers first, so that I can help the kid. Right? That's like your cup need to be filled. If your cup is empty, you cannot, you know, you cannot take care of good care of the kids. So same as the teacher, so GRACE for teachers, GRACE for parents are coming. Hopefully by the end of this yearI have both. And then the workbook, so that you can like with that book, I would have a workbook that you can go and practice. You know, and that's what I do with the class. But I will, I would just write the book and leave it out to the world.
Yan Wang: [01:14:59] Okay. Well, I just have one last question for you. What do you do for fun?
Dr. Nguyen: [01:15:04] Oh, uh, singing, playing. I play a lot of musical instrument. I play guitar. I play mandolin. Oh. And I, I love music. Music is a big part of my life. I play piano too. You know? It, it just so funny because I'm obsessed with piano. But I never had the didn't do know it's like a high class, uh, kind of musical instrument for rich people.
You know what I did? I just learn by connecting with friends who had piano. I love it so much. And the first job that I got an IBM Canada, instead of buying a car, I bought a piano.
Evonne Lau: [01:15:41] Incredible.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:15:41] It's a dream of my life. I never had that. So I bought the piano. And I took lessons when I was already an adult, but I love it. And, uh, and now it's so, so busy. I had a piano at home, but I seldomly play. But just music, it just brings so much inside of you. That piece on the creative side. I paint too. I love painting. Yeah. So, uh, doing like portraits, or, you know, but right now, because of all the work I want to do it just so busy. But I'm thinking about how you can bring creative arts to teach emotion for the kids. So combine artistic storytellings and kids can be so creative, right?
Yan Wang: [01:16:24] They are.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:16:25] Well, how can you activate that and combine with the GRACE thing, so that they can be the best version of themselves. Because that's the best thing you can do. I strongly believe every kid deserve. To live their best life.
Yan Wang: [01:16:40] Absolutely.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:16:41] Regardless of how miserable they are. So I worked with one of the private school that working with crisp kids that have special needs and, um, and the teachers are such as wonderful. So I want to help the teachers first, and then the teachers will work with the children. And, and imagine, how can you wrote it out to the public?
That's why I created a YouTube channel, but I have 24 hours a day. I really in a process of recruiting. So if you like, you can try my GRACE class first. And you like it, whether I'm designing a GRACE coach class. So you become a great coach. And when you do become a great coach, then you can share the mission that I have. Because I cannot do it alone and held workshop, a team that really passionate.
But the key is things, the passion, yes. Passion working with, with others and how you bring up the potential in each of the person you are in contact with. It's a lot of inner work, right? And you have to become light first, before you can bring light to others.
Yan Wang: [01:17:46] Yes. So for audience that want to connect with you. How can they connect with you online?
Dr. Nguyen: [01:17:51] Um, you can go to my Facebook , Anhlan the Coach. Okay. I have that. I have a group called Living Your Best Life. And I go live there, uh, frequently. They can also try the website, living your best life with GRACE, livingyourbestlifewithgrace.com. And in there, I also include, um, Some of the workshops, you might like, how to play with your children. Okay. I'll do raise emotional intelligent child. Right. And it's all free. Like we develop these series of online workshop when the pandemic started. I could imagine I work with two school for autistic children, so I know how tough it is. So I imagine all of these parents are so stressed out. And so we just put this out, uh, you know, free. So it's a whole series of call social.... Uh, what does that , Let's connect through social distancing. So cat's about 10, 12 different workshop. How to cope with anxiety, how to cope with loss. And I, I had, uh, the blessing of connecting with a lot of professional speakers.
And at the time they didn't have anything. All of their speaking engagement was canceled. So I recruited them and they had been so nice, uh, agreeing to do it for free. So we just put it out as a service. So utilize it. It is all in a free webinar or free workshop on that website. Okay. All right.
Yan Wang: [01:19:18] Definitely. I'll definitely check it out. And I'm just amazed at everything that you do and everything that you're still doing. Um, I'm, I mean, I feel like I don't have the right to say I'm busy anymore. It's absolutely unbelievable. And I am just. So overwhelmed at how big your heart is and everything that you're doing for women out there and for children out there, and for everybody who is in need.
So I encourage everyone to check out your websites and watch your webinars and get your book. This book again, I'm still in the beginning of it, but just the way you write is very storytelling. So you right away, you have that emotional connection. And you can also right away like find bits and pieces where's it's relatable to you. Right. And, and really kind of understand how you'd then you can apply this concept to your own life.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:20:10] The last four chapters is all about strategies. I didn't go deeper. If you want to go deeper, take my class! At least give you an overview of what GRACE is about. And then if you want to go deeper, you can take some, like, watch some of the free stuff that I put on the online and sign up for the class. It's very affordable. Like I, my goal is serving. So please spread the message around because the more people that I can serve that that's what bring happiness to me. Yeah.
Evonne Lau: [01:20:41] Beautiful. Thank you so much for joining us. I was about to say "thank you for having us" because it felt like you were hosting! We were in the room.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:20:52] Thank you for giving this all, and happy AAPI month! And this is just the beginning of our friendship, right? Yes. We can have a monthly discussion or a bi-monthly discussion.
Yan Wang: [01:21:03] We would love that.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:21:04] Yes, let's do that, so we can continue to be connected.
Yan Wang: [01:21:09] Yes. I will love that. Yeah. We'll love to discuss more too. Once I got a book
Dr. Nguyen: [01:21:14] And go deeper, like each, like maybe gratitude is one and some of like accountability or, you know, like that's a whole bunch of things different.
Yan Wang: [01:21:23] Yes. I would love that.
Dr. Nguyen: [01:21:24] Yeah. And helping other women! Yes. Thank you for having me. I really enjoyed the talk.
Yan Wang: [01:21:33] Thank you, Dr. Nguyen, have a great rest of the weekend.
(outro) Thanks again for listening to this episode, we really appreciate your support for our little podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world to us if you can leave us a review on iTunes or Spotify. This will help more people discover our podcast. You can find Lost & Refound Podcast on Instagram @lost.and.refound. If you want to email us, you can do so at lostandrefoundpodcast@gmail.com. Until next time! I hope you stay positive and creative.
